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Tuesday: Guy-the-Merchant.

Written by:Irene
Published on October 29th, 2015 @ 04:16:00 pm , using 463 words
Posted in Guy the invincible

It happened that British Gentleman Guy used to work for (see the previous episode) asked him to help in a very delicate task: immediately after the war in Iraq came to its end, British SAS found themselves in a possession of a large storage, full of Russian-made automatic weapons. After brief - but very turbulent consideration - British Gentlemen-in-Charge decided that they might sell all that for a small-penny-profit, somewhere in Africa. And - asked their former colleague for a favor (which he couldn't decline - or else... )

Of course, British-Gentleman-Who-Happened-to-be-A-Mayor found a buyer - it took no more than two long-distance phone calls actually. But ... He was way too fragile, and old, and lazy, and... Then - he summoned his devoted driver-cum-confidante, our ol'good Guy.

"Look, sunny boy... Please, consider it as a favor... And... remember: British Crown never forget people who do them a favors, you know... "
"Sir! But of course, more than happy to do... whatever I can, Sir!" - we have to admit Guy was a very adventures young Spaniard, full of illusions, and so on... And in a day or so he already found himself... "On-Her-Majesty-Service" - flying high and fast, towards one of the newly-independent African country, fighting for its ... freedom and happiness, of course - what else!

He was cordially received by the local Father-of-His-Nation - and after deal had been closed, an unusual offer appeared - sort of... the one you cannot refuse: The President asked him to go to the safari-tour, hunting no one else - but rhinoceros. Well... Our hero - even that so young he was - understood pretty well that THERE ARE the offers... and the offers. So, he accepted.

They flew a military helicopter, with those newly-purchased Russian-made Kalashnikov assault rifles in hands - and those toys had also RPG-launchers mounted on them. Long or short time flied - but finally they spotted a very peaceful rhino, in the middle of his lunch-time, eating some grass (or whatever else it was). Chopper landed, and The President with our hero in tow shlepped to the rhino. From a distance of, say, a couple of dozens yards that biological tank looked... well. Scary - if not to say more. But they had Kalashnikovs with RPG! And His Excellence... Well. Shoot. BUT! He did not removed a plastic protective cap from the grenade!!! And that thing just hit rhino's BUTT! No explosion... OK! Explosion was there all right - that of a rhino's excitement...

Guy had never seen that a man of a 500 lbs run so fast - but on the tree HE was the first, not The President! Maybe, it was an Olympic record... With nobody in sight to fix it...

Anyway - they did shoot that unfortunate rhino. With a regular bullet. From Kalashnikov. But Guy decided for himself that he will not work for Her Majesty Service. Not anymore!

Location: New York, United States

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